I have been putting my thoughts together ever since my good friend told me that he finally got engaged and asked if I would be part of the wedding. It has been a couple of months now and I think I have put together enough words of wisdom to give him but I thought that maybe I should share them with you and get your ideas on it also. I expect plenty of comments and your thoughts as well.
Lets go back to the very beginning and analyze what is marriage and why it came about. We know that Adam and Eve were the first couple but do we know if there was a wedding? I don't think there was because who would they have invited? The animals? Sure, God would have presided over the ceremony but was there a best man? And, where did that role finally come in? Don't worry because these past few months have kept me busy with answers to these questions and more.
Yes, Adam and Eve were considered Husband and Wife but there wasn't any wedding ceremony that took place. Instead they went right into the reception and partook of all the wonderful fruits in the Garden. OK, so Eve got carried away and took the wrong apple. Is she to blame for the downfall of man? That's better left for another blog. Right now lets concentrate on Weddings.
So we know that it started from the very beginning this thing we call getting married. The first mention of it in history, that I can remember, is the wedding ceremony that ran out of wine. The story goes that it was a huge wedding ceremony and the guests were enjoying themselves and partying with their togas swaying to the music. They were drinking wine like a siamese kitten downing milk for the first time. Soon the wine reserves were dry and the party goers started getting mad. Not to worry because one of their guest was able to make more and the party went on. The important part of this story is that even back in those days people got hammered at weddings. They drank the place dry and had to "make" more. So now you don't have to feel bad because of that one time you got wasted at your friends wedding. It happens all the time.
Now the big question is why get married? Why not just "shack up" if you will. A wise man once said to me "Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?" Wow! Makes you think a little doesn't it? The answer is quite simple really. The reason we get married is so that we can share our days on this rock with someone and, more importantly, you can always blame the other person whenever something goes wrong. They are usually right there when poop hits the fan. You can slowly turn to them and blame them. Convenience, you see?
Now, in the old days the brides family had to pay a dowry to the grooms parents. It usually consisted of goats or cows. I never did discover how the price was set. Was it based on looks or production? Now a days we just make the bride pay for the whole darn thing . After all she is the star of the evening and the groom is just there as a supporting actor along with his groomsmen. That leads us into the title of Best Man. This all came about when the term "Shotgun Wedding" was popular. They would get the best marksman to make sure that the groom wouldn't disappear before the I doe's. It eventually became "Best Man" because he was the best man for that particular job. Why do you think he holds the ring during the ceremony still today? If you leave it to the groom he would probably lose it on purpose. Can't get married it there isn't a ring. Thus the Best Man holds it now.
The Honeymoon came about from an interesting beginning as well. It usually only lasted about 10 minutes before the groom would appear smoking a cigarette and sporting a smile. The term Honeymoon wasn't always used. It had many names in the beginning, like: First Quickie, Titty Titty Bang Bang, Romper Room, Making Whoopee, Taking a peek behind the curtains, Ringin' the Cowbell, Stemming the rose, Role in the Hay and the most popular, Hanky Panky which was an actual couple that had 23 kids. The term Honeymoon referred to the period of time right after marriage when love is sweet and full like the moon. It didn't become associated with romantic "vacations" until the 18th century. Then, Jerry Springer discovered it and put it on his show.
Once the dust settles the couple have to learn to live with each other. They discover that there are so many little tendencies that their partner have that just makes them crazy. Sometimes you just want to rip your eyes out so you don't have to see them. It could be something simple like not wiping the knife clean of peanut butter before you put it in the sink to get cleaned. Or maybe not drying around the sink after you finish using it instead leaving it looking like a flock of ducks have just left. You learn to pick your battles because you quickly learn that if you were to speak up for every little thing it would just be one big "discussion" all the time and we all know how much fun that can be. Anyways, it always ends up being the guys fault somehow.
Marriage is something special and when you look at these couples that have been married for 50 years you wonder what is their secret. I guess the answer has always been right in front of us and put to music and poem. The answer my friends is that Love is blind. Sometimes you have to pretend that you are blind to keep the peace. Sometimes you have to be blind to what the other person has done.
Enjoy your wedding and honeymoon my friend and lets hope the wine doesn't run out and that the moon will always stay full over your house.
(Your thoughts and comments are welcome at this time.)